Is It Safe to Start Dating Someone Outside of 12-step?

For someone in these programs, dating a person who is not in a 12-step group, or who is not a recovering addict at all, can be difficult. But it can be worth it as long as both you and the person you’re interested in understand your needs as an individual in recovery.

Ask Yourself First…

Are you ready to start dating someone new? The idea is that people who have been in a 12-step program or in recovery in general for less than a year should not begin a romantic relationship until they are more stable. Some individuals also state that you should get a plant or a pet and care for it for a year before you begin a serious relationship with another person. Still, every individual is different, and it is difficult to determine what works for everyone. You must take stock of yourself, though, and consider whether or not you are ready for this step.

Start Dating Someone

It’s important that whoever you date understands the 12-step program and respects your involvement in it.

Does the Individual Understand You?

It is also incredibly necessary that the person you’re interested in understands you and your needs during your recovery, or they may become a detriment to it. The 12th step states that members should “practice [the] principles [of the program] in all our affairs” (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration). Consequentially, one of the first things you may want the person to understand is what being in a 12-step program entails by directing them to the 12 steps and 12 principles. Once they understand more about these important teachings, they can begin to understand your situation a little better.

Is It Safe to Date Outside of 12-step?

It can be perfectly acceptable for someone in 12-step to date a person outside the program, so long as there is a strong understanding and foundation of honesty between the two individuals. Though dating in general can be problematic in recovery, if you are ready and your partner understands your needs, it can be perfectly acceptable to start. Call 888-905-9004 today to find out more about these programs or to find meetings in your area.

What is 13th Stepping?

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