12-Step Program For Over-Involved Parents
Are you entirely too involved in the lives of your children? Do you over-schedule, over-protect and over-indulge your kids? If you do, perhaps you are in need of “Parents Anonymous.”
Created by parenting author Wendy Mogel, she writes on MSNBC.com:
I’ve seen increasing numbers of devoted, loving, highly intelligent parents treating perfectly capable children like handicapped royalty… What’s the downside? More and more kids suffering from entitlement, anxiety and low motivation.
So she came up with this 12-step program for parents:
- Resist taking the role of butler, sherpa, concierge, talent agent or the secret police — parents lead best by example.
- Don’t mistake a snapshot for the epic movie of your child’s life. Kids go through phases.
- Before you nag, criticize, praise or over-explain, remember the slogan W.A.I.T.: “why am I talking?”
- Be alert but not automatically alarmed.
- Don’t confuse children’s wants with their needs.
- Remember that your child is not your masterpiece.
- Learn to love the words “trial” and “error.” Let your child make mistakes before going off to college.
- Don’t fix what’s not broken. Accept your child’s nature even if he’s shy, stubborn, or not great at math.
- When your child doesn’t make the team, the school play, or the in-group, remember that this is good preparation for adult life.
- Recognize that the grades your child receives are not the measure of your worth as a parent.
- Emphasize ordinary chores and family citizenship along with schoolwork and extracurriculars.
- Give your kids time to play… lest they try to sue you for stealing their childhoods.